Grace The Great

To my amazing Gracie on her 19th birthday… I know… I’m late.

Deal with it.

You like me too much to care.

This is for you:

Grace, you are so wonderfully amazing. Today, yesterday, and all the days.

For almost eight long years, you’ve stood by my side without qualms. Sure, there were a few years in the middle that we lost contact, but those only matter because we both grew, and came back with a stronger basis for our friendship.

Today, on this, the start of your 19th year, I want to remind you of a few things:

You are BEAUTIFUL

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Seriously, look at you. Even in that tiger onesie, you’re gorgeous. And, I might add, effortlessly glamorous…

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I mean seriously, you’re Marilyn Monroe reincarnate, albeit, a geeky homeschooled version, but, you’re just plain gorgeous.

You are so f****** STRONG

You have seen some s***, real and hard, but you have not only overcome it, you have blossomed.

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I cannot even imagine what it is to live through what you have, and still manage to have such a beautiful outlook on the world and the people in it. Your grace (no pun intended) abounds for everyone, even those who annoy you the most, and your heart goes out to those in need, so much so, that I worry that you care for others more often than you care for your own needs. Your determination in this and many other matters is something I envy at times, and your fierce wit is something I can only aspire to someday match.

I remember running around in your backyard, taking photos (something you were prodigiously talented at even then) like it wasn’t almost five years ago. We were some crazy kids back then….and still making questionable hair decisions…

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Your excitement for life is abounding, insane, and without end. Even on your worst days, you can’t help but find excitement in the small and inconspicuous aspects of our daily monotony.

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You love unconditionally. Your siblings, your friends, my sister, me, your grandmother, your parents. All are your people, all matter to you so much, that your anger when they are injured, or disrespected, is uncontainable. And your joy in their presence, the same.

You are so damned confident. I often can’t believe how confident you are. I couldn’t go out into the world doing half the things you do and come out the other side bravely. I’d be a complete mess. This confidence exudes in your every action, I know you like to say “Fake it till you make it” a wonderful cliche, but really you don’t fake it as much as you’d like us to think. You are just that confident in yourself, even if you don’t realize it yet.

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Lastly my friend, you’re such a beautiful soul, brave, kind, and good too. You make me laugh, with reckless abandon, so, a few lifetime quotes to end….

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“Get your vehicle out of the driveway Zach!”

“YOLO Bitches”

“Lord have Mercy……….On his soul…..”

and finally, always remember….

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“BUTT CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!”

Happy Birthday Grace, may 19 be one of the best,

Much love, and don’t you dare forget it,

Mae

 

 

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Patriotic Nicknames…

Hi everyone, My name is America. Before you ask, no, my parents are not super patriotic, no I don’t like to be called ‘Merica and no, I’m definitely not named after the little girl from Where the Heart Is. You know, that Natalie Portman movie where she has a kid in Walmart? I especially hate having any of our countries patriotic theme songs sang at me or anywhere near me. Why is this? Well, to talk about that, we have to talk about how bullying isn’t always bullying, and how people don’t realize they’re hurting someone’s feelings.

I was home schooled from fourth grade through high school, but before that I went through three different public schools in my district. None of them were exempt from teasing and poking at me and my name. Some of it was from the adults, and it wasn’t meant to be teasing. I got a lot of Miss America, America the Beautiful, stuff like that. From the kids it was a different story.

We forget how mean kids can be. Now, the kids who teased me weren’t half as mean to me as they could have been, and they teased me about other things besides my name, but my name is the most memorable thing. When something is such a big part of you, you’re not going to forget it. I indured taunting voices singing patriotic songs at me, and jokes like “you must LOVE 4th of July right? It’s celebration ALL about you” all through elementary school. Which doesn’t sound to bad right? Try getting it every day. It of course didn’t help that I was a great target. I was easily riled up and one of those kids who would get upset when kids said something to me.

I still am pretty easily offended by these jokes, less so by people who know me really well, Hope and I go back and forth with jokes, I joke about her, she jokes about me. Mark makes jokes, I tend to kick him, but, we both know that’s its less violent than friendly poking at each other. Cat also makes jokes, the main problem there is that she’s impossible to get angry with, and just acts so cute that you can’t possibly tell her off, or push her over…I tend to just steal her hat, or whatever she’s wearing on her head at the time. When it comes to people in public, I’ve gotten really good at the smile and ignore it route. Especially as a retail worker. I get a lot of jokes about my name from customers, and all I can do is smile, fake laugh and move on. Pretending not to notice is good too, but more often I pretend I don’t mind. It’s not easy.

One of these days maybe it’ll stop bothering me….maybe…

Love to all, as always,

Mae

Letter to my Little Sister

Dear Kate,

You are beautiful, you are strong. You annoy the HELL out of me, but you’re my beautiful courageous little sister and I love you.

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You have a HUGE personality, one that constantly gets me an “Oh my GOSH! Your little sister is SO CUTE!” Which usually gets the “If you lived with her she wouldn’t be so cute” response from me. The truth is that I’m jealous of your carefree attitude towards life, the things that make you cry are so trivial and your innocence is makes me wish I could return to age four.

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You’re imagination is ten times the size of any other kid I know, don’t lose that. Ever.

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Even though you constantly drive me batty, with your incessant interruptions and constant noise making, I can’t help loving you.

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You’re my little sister, someone that I had hoped and prayed for for a very long time before you were born. Maybe you contradict me every few sentences. Maybe you make it hard for me to have a serious conversation with anyone because you HAVE to have your say. None of that matters, as you would say after we’ve had a fight, “Sisters forever! Right Mae?” Yeah Kate, you’re right, you’re gonna grow up, and there’s probably gonna be some times when we hate each other, but at the end of the day, we’re gonna stick together, because you’re right.

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Sisters Forever…

Do You Nancy Drew?

Ever heard of the Nancy Drew books? They’ve been around since the nineteen thirties and are written under the pseudonym of Carolyn Keen. When I say do you Nancy Drew, I’m talking about the Nancy Drew Mystery Games made by HERinteractive. They’ve been around since 1996 and are constantly getting cooler. The graphics started out like this:

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And this:

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Now they look like this:

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And they’re getting constantly better!

The mysteries have been anything from murder mysteries to kidnappings to thefts and spy missions. They are full of puzzles and Sherlock Holmes esque deductions.

Even though Nancy is a nineteen year old girl, the message boards on HERinteractive.com (where you can get hints and tips if you’re stuck, or just talk to people about the games) the games pull in guys too. The people who play are of all ages and many of us have been playing since the games first became popular. Of course I was born in 97, so I didn’t start playing until the early 2000s. But we started at the beginning of the series and I’ve been playing them ever since. There are almost thirty games in the series and my Mom and I have played all of them.

Basically. They. Are. Awesome.

Love to all, As always,

Mae

Some questions…

So I didn’t know what to blog about…then I found this website:

http://www.kludgymom.com/idea-bank/

It’s a bunch of writing prompts/questions to get you writing! So I’m going to answer some of them. Some might have short answers, some might be long. Others might be a picture that pertains to the question. Who knows what I’ll come up with?

Ok, question number one:

251.  ….and it landed me in the ER… Explain a time you ended up in the ER, what was the end result? Did you ever do whatever “it” was again!?!

When I was about six I was trying to untie my tennis shoes. I didn’t realize that they had been double knotted and pulled really hard on one of the laces. It came untied, but the aglet hit me in the left eye. We went to the ER and it turned out that the aglet had scratched my eye…no permanent damage but not the most comfortable thing in the world.. That was the only time I had gone to the ER (for myself at least) until recently. A month or so ago I was spinning one of those kiddie playground balls on my finger, (one of those soft ones, not like a dodge ball or anything, I was in a toddler nursery) and it bounced off and hit me in the same eye as before! (I know what you’re thinking, “Gosh Mae, how clumsy can you be?” Trust me, I can be WAY clumsier than that) I thought I was okay, my eye watered for a while, it looked and felt like I’d just displaced some blood vessels, it’d be all better in a few hours. Well in about an hour, I started having blurred vision in that eye…we ended up in the ER again. For the same eye as the last time…Moral of this? Mae is ridiculously clumsy when it comes to having things around her face.

  Question number two:

261.   What historical period in time do you wish you were born ?

This one’s EASY! The early 1900s! The clothing alone is enough to make me wish I was born then! I also wouldn’t mind the Regency. Once again the clothes are fabulous, but also the manners of the time. I would be VERY happy in the Regency.

452.  One of my irrational phobias is…

Fire. I have an intense and irrational fear of fire. This probably comes from the times that my Grandma told me stories about fire accidents. For instance: When she was in the hospital after getting her appendix out (or the time she was recovering from eye surgery, can’t remember which) there was a girl in the bed/room next to her who was REALLY badly burned. She was burned because she had been playing with sparklers (I guess it was the 4th of July..) and her cotton dress had gone up in flames. Then there was another time when we were walking on a nature trail and we saw a woman who had burn scars all over her body and Grandma said something to the effect of “That’s what happens when you get too close to the fire and are messing around.” Then she went on to tell me about a friend who had fallen into a campfire… Did I mention that all this happened when I was around four-six? Of course, I don’t blame Grandma for my fear of fire. I was the kind of kid who liked to know “Why” I shouldn’t do things. I was also very quickly and easily frightened and irrational… Not a great mix…Which probably explains some of my other issues…So Grandma if you’re reading this, I don’t blame you! I blame my overactive imagination and irrational way of looking at anything that might be dangerous.

616.   When I feel frustrated I….

Go into a spiral of doom and hide from everyone until my freak out has passed. Also I clean my room and rant at thin air. (Don’t judge me! Can you honestly say that you’ve NEVER said things to yourself that you would NEVER EVER say to the person you’re angry with?)

238.   You have $10 in your pocket and have to eat for 2 days (you can’t return home to eat from the cupboards) how will you survive?

Taco Bell. One thing of the value menu every meal. That and public drinking fountains.

546.   Would you be friends with you?

Um, yeah! I’m awesome! (You know, in a slightly crazy way)

  Well, that’s it for today! Hope you enjoyed this!

Love to all, As Always,

Mae

Stuff and things

I’m rubbish at math. And by rubbish I mean that most of the time it looks like this:

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I’m sure I’m not the ONLY person in the world who has trouble with math, but it does make some aspects of my life harder. For instance, I have to take the ACT this June. I’m good in all of the subjects except…you guessed it. Math. So I’m working with a tutor every Wednesday. My tutor is a Bio/Chem major who likes sports… While the Bio/Chem part comes in handy for math tutelage, we have very little in common. So, at the end of the session when we run to the cafe for a free coffee, we have nothing to talk about and sit there in awkward silence until one of us thinks of something to say… I’m a pretty social person, so this is hard for me. 

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On another note, today is dress rehearsal #2 for Les Mis. We made it all the way through the show last night! YAY! And most of us got to go home before midnight! This was completely unexpected. Anyway, seeing everyone in costume was great! Some of the scenes made a lot more sense when the costumes (and all of the props) were added. Tonight should go more smoothly and we should be done even sooner than last night. (Knock on wood)

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I’ve also begun to notice the extreme amount of superstition in the Theater community a lot more than I used to. For instance, people are constantly saying things, then knocking on the wood of the stage. (Hence the “Knock on wood” above) The other thing is that everyone believes that Civic is haunted. While I don’t believe in ghosts, I do believe in the power of suggestion. So when you’re constantly hearing that the Peanut Gallery, or the backstage  area, or the flies are haunted, being there late at night can cause you to start seeing things that aren’t there. I learned a long time ago not to let that kind of suggestion get to me. I have two extremes, either I won’t care about the stories and they won’t bother me. Or I’ll let them get into my head and send me into what I call THE SPIRAL OF DOOM!

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This usually ends with me crying in a corner and hiding from everyone…Why is a spiral of doom? Because I spiral out of control and end up in a hole I can’t climb out of by myself. I associate that with spirals, not sure why. I just do.

So. Yeah. Another fun adventure into my brain!

Love to all, As always,

Mae

Oh my goodness…

I. Am. Exhausted. I say that a lot, but I’ve never meant it as much as I do today. Part of this is because I’ve been working hard on Les Mis, and I just have to say: “Kudos to all the crew members out there who have made this job look effortless.” Because it’s not. I wasn’t expecting it to be, don’t get me wrong, I knew it was going to be hard work and I was looking forward to it! I still am, and am enjoying it immensely! I just haven’t been this tired maybe ever…It doesn’t help that last night I slept on and off…I don’t think I slept for more than half an hour maybe an hour in maybe a few segments…All well dreaming in between about scene changes.

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So my go to activity when I don’t have crew until later? Listen to K-pop.

I mean honestly, who can feel tired when listening to stuff like this:

And beside that…the guys are all GORGEOUS! Especially Taemin. He’s the guy with the red hair extensions. he starts singing around 0:53. 

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I mean honestly, he’s REALLY cute! And he’s only twenty! I mean seriously, twenty! He’s an amazing dancer and singer…only difficulty is that he lives in Korea, and also there’s the fact that according to his contract, he’s not allowed to date…but a girl can dream! Right?

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So I guess the point of this post is to say: Watching hot Korean guys dance is the best way to combat tiredness? Well maybe not, but a Monster Energy Drink later will help too. If I can convince my mother to let me get one…Which is WAY easier said than done…

Love to all, as always,

Mae